Sunday, April 27, 2008

Just a Thought...



“In every painting a whole life is mysteriously enclosed, a whole life of tortures, doubts, of hours of enthusiasm and inspiration.”
Wassily Kandinsky
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about...well...thinking. Mainly how thinking affects everything we say and do. I know that sounds simplistic...like...well...duh! But think about it. I mean, how often are you consciously aware of your thoughts? Do you know that you have control over them? Some people don't seem to. I didn't used to.

Like most artists, I listen to music while painting. I've come to realize the HUGE role music plays on how I paint. Well, actually, it plays a HUGE role on how I THINK and this plays a role on how I paint.

My husband has a serious lung disease. The news of this was, of course, very scary. I've had a year to adjust to living with this horrible news, but it still wants to control my thoughts day and night. When I am painting, certain songs conjure up certain emotions. Prior to this hard news, my thoughts would wax romantic and my paintings would reflect those emotions. Now, however, I battle fear all throughout my thought life...fear of losing my husband and all that it entails. Because my work is "honest", these emotions are creeping into my paintings.

The image in this post is a clear example. It is called, "Don't Confuse Me", oil on wood (with wooden buttons). The pigeon with string attached to its leg represents me...I'm tethered to something, and though I've broken "free", I am still dragging this string around. It seems that everyone around me has an opinion about it.

It's an okay painting, I guess. It’s honest.

But here is what I'm thinking: I am going to really work hard on governing my thoughts. I am going to make it a personal quest. A goal. I want to be aware of where my mind leads my will and my emotions. Since my work is honest, meaning there is a direct influence of my mind and emotions on how I paint, I expect that I will see results.