Tuesday, August 26, 2008

To Blog or Not to Blog…

That is the question… running through my mind for the past few months anyway. And I’m not sure I want to go into all the reasons why, but suffice it to say…I’m blogging again. I would like to say thanks to those of you who have hung in there with me and are still checking in. A special thanks to those who have written me encouraging words to keep it up. I’m back.

To update you: I have been in high creative mode. It’s a blissful and yet painful place to be at times. I am being stretched in every direction. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am learning so much about myself as a human being, as a woman, and as an artist. And it is, of course, showing up in my work, which is always affirming.

I have always lost myself in paint and I have always found myself through paint. But lately, I am also spending a lot of my energy with other creative outlets. I’m writing more poetry than I have in years and I’m singing in a jazz trio. I’m filing the poetry. I’m painting all day. And I am singing and dancing up a storm with my jazz band at night. Being creative has taken over my life 24/7. Even my dreams are more vivid. It is like I have been struck by lightening. Electric energy.

Painting, music and writing have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. There have been times in my life when music took front and center, but for the past twenty years, my life has been consumed with painting and a bit of music just here and there. Painting will always be #1 with me. But it is a great release to be singing again. A great release. Writing poetry…that has always been very personal and rarely shared beyond a few special people. It is, for me, completely cathartic.

My keyboard player is a pulmonologist of the lung surgeon variety. He is an amazing keyboard player. Phenomenal, really. I am in awe of his gift. It’s hard to imagine him doing anything else. I told him at rehearsal last night that I have a hard time trying to imagine him in scrubs. He laughed and said that he sees me only as a vocalist, even though he has seen my paintings. But he knows that my painting and singing come from the same place.

Kind of.

It is interesting that creative people generally have talent in more than one genre. I know a lot of artists who are also musicians, writers, actors, etc. If it comes from the same place, I would have to say that it comes from “spirit”. Because the spirit is creative. But I would add that each genre (painting, singing, performing, etc.) comes from a different part of the spirit…at least my spirit. I can’t get the same emotional connection or release with painting that I do singing and visa versa.

Some of you know that my husband is very ill. It’s not fun. But I am so fortunate to have so many great avenues to work out my emotions. I am not sure I would go so far as to say that it keeps me balanced, but it sure is a great way to live.

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