Letting Go

Interviewer: “Master, how did you think of the divine motif of your Ninth Symphony?”

Anton Bruckner: “I sat down by a little brook, unpacked my Swiss cheese, and that darn tune popped into my head!”


Sometimes we simply think too much. I’ve written about being aware of your thoughts. But sometimes (more often than not) our minds are so consumed with what we’ve done or what we are going to do that we completely miss out on what is happening to us (in us) at the moment. Precious creative ideas can breeze right on by us and we miss out on them completely. This is a tragedy for an artist.

Bruckner’s account of opening a package of cheese only to encounter his brilliant Ninth Symphony is a perfect illustration. All he was thinking about was opening his lunch and voila! Genius knocked on the door! Do you have to “be” a genius for those moments to appear? I highly doubt it. I believe that we just need to be “aware” of the possibilities in the moment and be watching for them.

It is true that we need to practice our craft, be it painting, playing an instrument, writing, etc. We need to nurture our creative nature by “breathing in” the wonders of life. We need not be self-consumed. However, we do need to care for our body (one person calls it his “earth suit”), our mind and our spirit if we are to do our best at anything. But let’s face it…we too often allow our minds to become cluttered with too much random, useless and repetitive information. This is a bad habit that creates “busy-ness”, clouds our judgments and creates confusion. It is a huge distraction. In short, it makes us miserable.

I would like to suggest that the next time you sit down to create, whatever that may be, try to clear your mind of thoughts of the day’s trouble. Let go of yesterday and worries about tomorrow. Be present in the moment of your creative “right now”. Just let it all go and see what happens.

Metaphorically Speaking...

“No amount of skillful invention can replace the essential element of imagination.”
Edward Hopper

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
Albert Einstein

I love a good story. I can't really sit and tell stories like some of my amazing friends can. I love to sit at their feet and breathe in their imagination. It takes little effort for me to visualize the characters, the places, the atmosphere…I can almost decipher the fragrance of each new scene. It’s my favorite thing to do…listen to a good storyteller.

I dabble in poetry. I don’t profess to be a “poet”, but being a musician, I love to express myself with rhythm. I confess that I am easily enamored by a good word-smither. I will drink in line after line before I fall asleep at night and create the images in my mind while the words float across my thoughts and I drift off to somewhere other than the worries of my day. Poetry makes me smile. My poetry is very personal. And as I have said, I rarely share it with anyone.

Metaphor is something I habitually incorporate into my paintings. It’s just a thing for me. I have always done it. I know artists who don’t see the value in it. “Art for Art’s Sake” and all that. And I appreciate where they are coming from. But if I am going to be honest with my work, I need to work from my heart and my heart loves story. So…story finds home in my paintings on a regular basis.

I don’t always share what the personal metaphor is when asked. I prefer to listen to the viewer’s impression…their story. I learn so much from listening. Besides, my interpretation changes like the wind. Seriously. I think it is about one thing…then something happens in my life and voila…the painting is singing a different tune all together. It’s funny in a kind of marvelously mysterious way.

I did a painting of sunflowers years ago. Each one had their own personality. Pretty soon, I found myself attributing each blossom to a girlfriend. Before you know it, the painting was about my relationships and the goings on within our little group of the “Ya-Ya Sisterhood”. I still love that painting.

When you get accustomed to viewing artwork with “metaphor” or “story” in mind, the artwork becomes alive and pertinent. I highly recommend it.

To Blog or Not to Blog…

That is the question… running through my mind for the past few months anyway. And I’m not sure I want to go into all the reasons why, but suffice it to say…I’m blogging again. I would like to say thanks to those of you who have hung in there with me and are still checking in. A special thanks to those who have written me encouraging words to keep it up. I’m back.

To update you: I have been in high creative mode. It’s a blissful and yet painful place to be at times. I am being stretched in every direction. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am learning so much about myself as a human being, as a woman, and as an artist. And it is, of course, showing up in my work, which is always affirming.

I have always lost myself in paint and I have always found myself through paint. But lately, I am also spending a lot of my energy with other creative outlets. I’m writing more poetry than I have in years and I’m singing in a jazz trio. I’m filing the poetry. I’m painting all day. And I am singing and dancing up a storm with my jazz band at night. Being creative has taken over my life 24/7. Even my dreams are more vivid. It is like I have been struck by lightening. Electric energy.

Painting, music and writing have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. There have been times in my life when music took front and center, but for the past twenty years, my life has been consumed with painting and a bit of music just here and there. Painting will always be #1 with me. But it is a great release to be singing again. A great release. Writing poetry…that has always been very personal and rarely shared beyond a few special people. It is, for me, completely cathartic.

My keyboard player is a pulmonologist of the lung surgeon variety. He is an amazing keyboard player. Phenomenal, really. I am in awe of his gift. It’s hard to imagine him doing anything else. I told him at rehearsal last night that I have a hard time trying to imagine him in scrubs. He laughed and said that he sees me only as a vocalist, even though he has seen my paintings. But he knows that my painting and singing come from the same place.

Kind of.

It is interesting that creative people generally have talent in more than one genre. I know a lot of artists who are also musicians, writers, actors, etc. If it comes from the same place, I would have to say that it comes from “spirit”. Because the spirit is creative. But I would add that each genre (painting, singing, performing, etc.) comes from a different part of the spirit…at least my spirit. I can’t get the same emotional connection or release with painting that I do singing and visa versa.

Some of you know that my husband is very ill. It’s not fun. But I am so fortunate to have so many great avenues to work out my emotions. I am not sure I would go so far as to say that it keeps me balanced, but it sure is a great way to live.

Just a Thought...

“In every painting a whole life is mysteriously enclosed, a whole life of tortures, doubts, of hours of enthusiasm and inspiration.”
Wassily Kandinsky

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about...well...thinking. Mainly how thinking affects everything we say and do. I know that sounds simplistic...like...well...duh! But think about it. I mean, how often are you consciously aware of your thoughts? Do you know that you have control over them? Some people don't seem to. I didn't used to.

Like most artists, I listen to music while painting. I've come to realize the HUGE role music plays on how I paint. Well, actually, it plays a HUGE role on how I THINK and this plays a role on how I paint.

My husband has a serious lung disease. The news of this was, of course, very scary. I've had a year to adjust to living with this horrible news, but it still wants to control my thoughts day and night. When I am painting, certain songs conjure up certain emotions. Prior to this hard news, my thoughts would wax romantic and my paintings would reflect those emotions. Now, however, I battle fear all throughout my thought life...fear of losing my husband and all that it entails. Because my work is "honest", these emotions are creeping into my paintings.

The image in this post is a clear example. It is called, "Don't Confuse Me", oil on wood (with wooden buttons). The pigeon with string attached to its leg represents me...I'm tethered to something, and though I've broken "free", I am still dragging this string around. It seems that everyone around me has an opinion about it.

It's an okay painting, I guess. It’s honest.

But here is what I'm thinking: I am going to really work hard on governing my thoughts. I am going to make it a personal quest. A goal. I want to be aware of where my mind leads my will and my emotions. Since my work is honest, meaning there is a direct influence of my mind and emotions on how I paint, I expect that I will see results.

The Audacity of Tenacity

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare.

It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” --Seneca 5BC

I haven’t blogged for a while, I know. I’ve been knee-deep in the planning stages of opening an art school! CAVA (Cavender Academy of Visual Art) has been on the back-burner of my pea-brain for a while now, and it seems that it just might become a reality. The local newspaper had a write up about it in yesterday’s paper. So, the word is out! A meeting is planned. People are plugging in. Instructors are on board.

Here we go!

From past experience, I am expecting some flack about all of this. I am not quite sure why this always seems to be the case, but it is. I have actually had a couple of artists voice their disapproval of the idea already. Perhaps it annoys a few people that I get to do things that they wish they themselves were doing. (How dare I?) But the truth of the matter is –I only had the “vision”. I’m just a dreamer. Things like this just seem to happen in my life. I dream and it becomes reality. One dream after another. But it always, always, always involves group participation. I don’t have the kind of “stuff” it takes to pull things off on my own.

For the record: my motivation is not to promote my name. That was someone else’s idea. Besides, I have all ready made a name for myself on a local level (another one of those “it just happened” things). Local investors want to use my name and I can see the benefit of it. No, my motivation is to help my community keep the arts alive.

Where I live, there is a real need to keep the arts alive. The arts are always being threatened around here. There are several theories as to why that is. It’s really just a combination of things. But at the heart of this community is a tenacious core of individuals who are committed to keeping the heart of the arts beating. Could CAVA become the proverbial defibrillator that this art community needs? We shall see.

Here’s the thing---I have been blessed and I want to pass that blessing on to my community. I want our city to have a place where young people can find the help they need to launch an art career. I want a place where they can find guidance and inspiration on a regular basis. And I want a place where local art instructors feel appreciated and connected to something bigger than themselves. Like a family. That’s my dream. That’s my vision. I’ll keep you posted on how things develop.

Following the Leader

“We are human & humble and of the earth, and we cannot create until we acknowledge our createdness…An artist is a nourisher and a creator who knows that during the act of creation there is a collaboration. We do not create alone.”

Madeline L’Enlge

(Walking on Water)

“The artist works not to earn praise and adoration, or to avoid blame and hatred, but rather obeys that categorically imperative voice, which is the voice of the Lord, before whom he must humble himself and whose servant he is.”

Wassily Kandinsky
(Concerning the Spiritual in Art)

In my post of February 7, 2007, "Breathing through Creative Blocks", I wrote:

"Living a life of creativity is like breathing. You breathe in life and you breathe out life. I want to breathe in life as much as I can. I want to be aware of all of all my senses. I’m an aromatherapy freak. I love things that smell great. I love color. I visit my friend’s back deck to watch a sunset now and then. I take walks through a nearby park and will often bury my face in a hedge of flowers just to breath in the color."

I went on to talk about ways to "stop and smell the roses", so to speak, and how vital that is to keeping the creative juices flowing. You need to nurture your soul. It is also important to nurture your body. But I believe that the most import aspect of self-nurturing is that of the spirit. Feeding and nurturing your spirit is essential for the life and vitality of your creative nature.

In the quote above, Madeline L’Enlge calls the artist a “nourisher”. This suggests that there is a “calling” or a “mission” that an artist should be mindful of. If this is the case, then there is a responsibility on the part of the artist to “nourish”. Agreed? How do we act upon that? That is subjective and relative to each artist’s circumstances. Everyone has their own “mission field” as well as their own unique tools, gifts, talents, etc., in which to nourish their mission field.

The second quote by Wassily Kandinsky states, quite resolutely in fact, that artists are humble servants who obey the voice of God. I could not agree more. If I have a mission field of art patrons, art enthusiasts, artists, and curious onlookers, then my “calling” is to listen to the voice of God and obey Him by creating the most honest works of art I can to be placed before those in my mission field. The rest of it is up to God. Fame, fortune, favor…it’s not about me. It’s about opportunities. It’s about community. It’s about lifestyle. It’s about worship. It’s about having a proper self-image. But it is not about me or my ego.

An Important Message:

I donate artwork for fundraising several times a year. As the law currently stands, an artist cannot deduct the value of the piece (usually between $2200 to $3500 in my case). I can only deduct my materials ($100 to $200?). So, my time is not given any value by the government. This is not the case with any other person who donates to charity. 100% of their items are deductable. I would donate more often if my work was given fair market value on my tax form.

Below is information about a very important bill for artists:


Support the Artists' Deduction Bill
Kim Hall

The Artist Deduction Bill (S. 548) would give artists the right to deduct the fair market value of their work when donating it to charity, rather than only the costs of materials and supplies, as things currently stand now. According to the American for the Arts, www.artusa.org, the U.S. tax system is currently treating collectors, who can donate tangible works and deduct the fair market value, differently from the creators of those works. What does this mean for artists?

“It means that I have stopped donating because it takes me about a month to do a painting, and my paintings start at around $5,000,” says artist Mimi Jensen. “It makes financial sense to me as an artist to write a check to a charity rather than spend a month of my time to paint something and donate it for far less.”

Essentially, as artists stop donating work, nonprofit institutions across the country will suffer. Artists and collectors should be treated equally when donating work, but in order to do that, we need to voice our opinions to our Members of Congress as quickly as possible. While there hasn’t been any movement on the bill yet, lobbying is scheduled for late March, so the time to act is now.

If you haven’t voiced your support for the Artist Deduction Bill to your Member of Congress yet, Americans for the Arts has made it easy. Just visit http://capwiz.com/artsusa/issues/alert/?alertid=9521951&type=CO , and fill out your name and address in the onscreen template. The template includes a letter explaining what the Artist Deduction Bill is and why it is important. You can opt to print out the letter and mail it in yourself, or you can have the letter e-mailed directly to your Members of Congress instantly.